Keep the Spark Alive !

Today I am going to talk about a beautiful thought i came across while reading one artical " keeping the spark shining". Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.


Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. A 3-year old
boy have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump
on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from
daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party –
several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own
birthday cake.


I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see older
people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark
fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and
bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half?

That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing - to
give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against
storms.


To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible foryou

*.* It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to company pay

package, a particular car or house.



Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks
is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.

But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr. Ambani would not show up for
work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs
won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to workeveryday?

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive.
Just getting better from current levels feels good.
If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to
interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice,
your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become
Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next
level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we
were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature's
design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you
a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful.
Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in
good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There
is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if
your mind is full of tensions. You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in
nursery school, where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your
mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life,
where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth
it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but
this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. One of
my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student
asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice.

The teacher said - *don't be serious, be sincere*. This quote has defined my
work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of
my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps
of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will
I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as
we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited

validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is
just 2,500 weekends.

Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a
few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not
programmed devices. I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too
seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in
life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be
guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and
loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected
return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is
extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did
this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel
miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers
rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how
silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you. But it's life.

If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And
remember - if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit
or potential. And that's where you want to be.

Disappointment's cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you ever
been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially
relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve,
sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose the right
goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought
they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years
to get close to a release. Frustration saps excitement, and turns your
initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did
I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a
long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain
enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was
learning how to write scripts, having a side plan – I had my third book to
write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life

- friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to
be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too
seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our
country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree
find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere.
And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so
many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work
is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term
correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there
will be some people luckier than you. In fact, to have an opportunity to go
to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty damm
lucky by Indian standards.. Let's be grateful for what we have and get the
strength to accept what we don't. I have so much love from my readers that
other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise.

It's ok. I don't look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think
are more beautiful than her.. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow
older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want
Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot
like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What
you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from
even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may
not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains
in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their
second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it
for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that
compromise. Love yourself first, and then others. There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the
monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to
keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful year of your life.